Desperate Househusband

3 is the magic number

2007-10-20T21:33:00.000-05:00

No, not School House Rock,... or the Blind Melon cover, or the De La Soul song from college. Which by the way I had a few beers with that song in the background, and there was this freshman named Greedy Gretchen ans she loved that song, so I tuned it in one night while she was over and, well,.. you know the rest. She ended up dating my buddy later, but I digress. Desperate Housedad is expecting the 3rd child. We are pumped and it definitely locks me down to STAYATHOMEDOM, which is cool. The wife is knocking it out of the park at work, so all is good

SO WHAT IS NEXT YOU ASK???? how about name our child. Fire off an idea for me.

ok,.. back in the saddle.

2007-09-28T09:22:00.000-05:00

alright,.. time for my annual,.."start the blog again". Well here it is,.. just a post to see who is out there and what is going on in the world. I will have a worth while post in the next 24 hours when I find something comical and interesting to post. A few things that I have learned as a Stay at Home Dad.
1. Over the years, my taste in women has definitely changed. As you age i think you become more attracted to women near your own age. For example, I now am posting the top places where the women are.
a. THE CAR POOL LINE. end of story, period. The greatest collection of 30 something MILF in their natural habitat. And I mean that in the most admirable and complimentary way. I get older, but a group of middle aged women in their tennis outfits, just still make the juices flow. However as an outcast(a man in a women's setting), I am pretty much ignored. I have never seen the collection of SUVs and minivans as I do here, not to mention the collection of silicon/saline. WOW.
b. THE GROCERY. The quanity and quality can't touch the carpool line, but domething interesting is happening there. I feel the women are much more engaging to me at the Grocery, to the point were I am feeling like I am getting the once over and being "checked out" I like it. Not sure if it is women being jealous("wow, what a guy, he does the grocery shopping for his family, wow, how dedicated and what a caring person, wish my man would get off his ass,.. now where is the Bisquick). I actually was hit on by the woman in the fish department. As she handed me my salmon, she ask "now,... are you...... married?" as she looked into my eyes. Not sure if it was the kids or the wedding ring that gave it away. My choice is The Fresh Market
c. STARBUCKS. Please, where else would the suburban housewife go right after the CARPOOL drop off? She just has to have her caffeine free, soy mocha, latte and is glad to spend $4.50 on it. And why not hang around in the comfy chairs for a bit, because the cleaning lady is at the house and the lawn guy is in the yard, and I have already made a carry-out order for dinner and I don't want to go to the grocery, because that perverted dude is always there hitting on the fish lady.
d. TARGET. This is basically the upscale grocery, where people actually need to get some good shoping done at a solid price. It is a mix of the grocery and Starbucks.

NOW THE STRATEGY:
In order to make it through the day, I need to get each child in a different school, so I have 2 carpool lines. Speaking of which, the little guy gets picked up in 1 hour, so I better get my grocery list together and get out of here. Definitely having fish for dinner again.

wow

2006-09-11T14:58:00.000-05:00

ok,... what a long strange trip it has been over the past 8 months. Little time to blog away,.. but hey,.. here I am back and better than ever before. I feel that 9/11 is an appropriate day for my blog to be reborn,... so here goes.

what do I want to talk about?

1. Islamo-whack-jobs
2. Finally finished with Diapers(my favorite)
3. Mid term elections
4. Are cookies getting smaller? Or are my hands just that much bigger?
5. Wine tips for the novice junkie
6. Where should I move next poll

Kathy Hilton,.. just like Paris

2006-01-20T21:55:00.000-06:00

well the Hilton girls are at it again. this time it is Mrs Kathy Hilton. See thru dress while out on the town. I will sy that is a nice set of breast for an older woman,... well for many younger women too. Desperate Househusband is well.,... desperate. I love those Hiltons!!! I have always liked Nikki the best. Paris is he slut-whore sister,.. Kathy the drunk trophy wife and that leaves dear Nikki.

I am back,.. wow

2005-12-29T07:28:00.000-06:00

Ok,.. I am back. After the holidays and a hard drive failure, I m back up and running. now where was I? Well college bowl season is among us and all the New Years resolutions are about ready to start. Stop going to the gym for about 3 weeks until it thins out a bit.

hair on my neck was standing up

2005-10-21T08:38:00.000-05:00

This is from a Mexican show and the guy in the photo is the camera operator. He goes into a cemetary at night with 3 other camera operators to look into the ghost phenomana and this this the result. Is it fake or real, I don't really care, but it is freaky. You need to hear the sounds and voices, if you have your computer on mute, it doesn't have the effect. Here is the translation-

We are here, in this Graveyard, What is that thing (whisper from friend) Its the ______. There is something over there. Were gonna go take a look. (They move closer) Were closer now. (someone screams, camera loses focus). Dude(or man/friend). What is your name(zooms in, noise is made) Who are you? What is(cut-off by the glowing eyes, AHHH. Oh my god, God have mercy(something like that. Go! Run. *Heavy breathing* Carlos!( i think), WAIT!! Colentes(guys name) Gregwar!! Hey guys wait, hey guys wait. (High pitch scream in backround) Please!!- video ends.

2005-09-28T21:58:00.000-05:00

In fact, the cognitive dissonance of Queers for Palestine -- marching in support of those who would kill you if they were given the opportunity -- only serves to illuminate the cognitive dissonance of the entire "anti-war movement." Because the goal of the "War on Terror" is to protect the liberal, free, egalitarian democratic society that we all cherish from the forces of oppression, totalitarianism and religious fundamentalism. Yet the anti-war crowd strives to compel the very soldiers who are defending them to lay down their arms, as if the battle would suddenly cease if one army were to stop fighting. So the anti-war crowd must ignore the evidence that one side is fighting to impose the harshest form of religious conservatism not just on their own countries but on the entire world given half a chance, whereas the other side (our side) is fighting to preserve a progressive civilization. That's right, folks -- this war's for you.
Special thanks to ZOMBIE

can I change my mind

2005-09-25T22:41:00.000-05:00

I have been back to work for two months. The job is good, the pay is good and I work from home. But I really am just unmotivated. I have a feeling that this may not be the best long term solution for me. I was already to do something fun with my time, get a job I enjoy and screw the great paycheck,..... well we see who won out. Right now I have the "Sunday Blues". Monday is just to close and I am already procrastinating. This job thing sucks,.... needs to be a better way. It also rained all day and my lawn will be over my knees before I cut it. On a good note, I saw Wedding Crashers over the weekend,... classic. Laughed my ass off,.. even the wife was laughing the whole time. She even thought it would be a great idea to buy it when it comes out on DVD. Hey,.. one more way to waste time during the day

2005-09-07T21:37:00.000-05:00

Way to go Mayor Ray. All those buses you needed,.. you let them get flooded, then you tried to blame everyone else. Why didn't you supply the Superdome with food and water as the city plan called for?

thinking like a liberal

2005-09-02T09:56:00.000-05:00

Since the libs always want to place blame first, and it is usually misguided, here I go in my liberal style blame game. CINDY SHEEHAN is responsible, if she wouldn't have demanded all this press coverage, then the people of New Orleans would have been more aware of the situation and had an orderly, early evacuation. So we should also blame Natalee Holloway. Wow that is easy. But I guess that is what being a liberal is all about, making stupid theories and making yourself feel better by buying into said stupid theory.

Big Easy in Big Trouble

2005-08-28T21:12:00.000-05:00

I have been to New Orleans many times. Plenty of times for work, my job used to be in marine transportation. And of course many times for play. I have been to Mardi Gras a few times, even rode with the Krewe of Sparta once. Great times, good food and perhaps a few too many cocktails. I love the city, mostly the Garden District , Jackson Square and the French Quarter. Bourbon Street is kind of a tourist mess but there are some great places and streets in the Quarter. Pelican Club is my favorite place to eat. I also like Red Fish Grill , Court of Two Sisters and Mothers for breakfast. I also always grab a beignets and some chickory coffee, usually at Cafe Du Monde unless it is packed by annoying tourist like me. I have been known to drink way too much at night on ocassion. Pat O's at the piano bar is fun,.. but touristy. The French Quarter smells bad in the morning and looks even worse,.. but I love that town. Tonight, as Katrina gets prepared to roll into town, I am worried that the French Quarter will never be the same. So I guess I will go tip one back and say a prayer and remember all the good times I have had in New Orleans and hope all goes well. The place has been open for 400 years, it will go on.

Enough of Cindy Sheehan already

2005-08-15T11:39:00.000-05:00

She lost her son in Iraq. I do feel her pain and recognize her loss. Casey is the HERO, and he gave the ultimate sacrifice. She has met with the President already. Why does she need a second meeting? Why is she being used as a puppet of the left? Where was her anti military stance when her son joined the army 5 years ago? Why is her other son telling her to come home?

I come from a military family. Father in the Navy and three brothers that served in the Army. I am very sensitive to issues of military families. Due to a sports related injury to my shoulder, I was unfit for military service(for all you{if any readers out there} who would question why I didn't serve). What pisses me off is when people VOLUNTEER for the military, take the paycheck, then when called to duty become a pacifist. Why didn't Cindy counsel her son 5 years ago when he joined? Her actions hurt troup morale and ultimately are a detriment to their safety. For God's sake stop grandstanding and being taken advantage of by the lefties out there.

My empathy for Cindy has past, but the standing of her son Casey as a hero will remain forever.

vacation

2005-08-04T20:59:00.000-05:00

I have been back to work for 3 weeks and already have a week of vacation. Going to the beach with my family. 11 adults(8 parents 3 grandparents) 12 children. I have a 13 hour car(ok,.. a minivan) ride tomorrow with 2 small children. I am starting my binge drinking now.

Dirty Mexico

2005-08-04T14:40:00.000-05:00

Spent some time in Old Mexico with work. Cuidad Juarez. What a fucking dump. Garbage everywhere. Every open lot was full of trash, garbage all over the roadsides it was a mess. The place looked like a war zone. Destroyed buildings, roads falling apart and kind of stinky. Anyway, when I crossed back over to El Paso, it was like entering heaven. Great infastructure, clean, but the people still don't speak english. Over all Detroit rates ahead of Juarez, with a suprising gap between the two. However the women in Juarez were much better looking than the ones in Detroit. Love the Latina women! Well 3 weeks of work and my brain is slowly developing again. Now a week of vacation. 13 hours in the car with the kids. I will either be suicidal or drunk,.. perhaps both.

week one

2005-07-23T00:15:00.000-05:00

spent week one away from being a stay at homer in the grand city of Detroit. What a dump. Smells bad and did I mention a dump. I guess thats why I am getting paid to go there. I was gone all week and I really missed my two guys. The older one got 9 stitches on Sunday before I left, so I was feeling bad for leaving when he was on the mend. But I did enjoy a bit of peace and quiet at night. The kids are now a Grammy's so I have the whole house to myself. I came home and had to clean and do laundry,.. back to my old chores. Next week, El Paso and Mexico for the week. Who will go nuts first? My wife working and being home with the kids by herself,,.. or me away from house and family for 2 weeks(after being a homebody for 4 months)

fat lady tuning up

2005-07-12T14:52:00.000-05:00

well it is with mixed emotions that my term as Stay-at-home-dad ends! I have landed a great and challanging job that will double my previous pay after 2 years. WOW. So the guys will go to school or get a nanny. My first day is tomorrow, and I am ready. I am going to really miss my time with the guys. I will be working out of my home office so I will be still reporting about the happens at the home front during the day. From Starbucks to MILTF's i will cover it all. stay tuned.

kerry edwards

2005-06-15T09:14:00.000-05:00

OK, it is coming up on July and "the johns" lost in November, take your f-ing bumper stickers off. It ain't gonna happen, the Supreme Court won't save you, this just labels you as a loser. Get over yourselves and move on. Go ahead and get your Hilary/Sharpton '08 stickers and cover the old ones up.

While I am on a political rant, how about the release of grades from Yale showing George W. Bush had better grades than Kerry?!?!?! So much for saying Kerry is smarter. Gore was also near retarded in school, so the liberals are actually the dopes out there. WOW ,.. no wonder Kerry refused to release them until after the election.

2005-06-12T12:35:00.000-05:00

It is a rainy Sunday as we get hit with the early fallout from Hurricane Arlene

I think we will venture out today. Target and the grocery are perfect. Perhaps an Adult will speak with me? Paper or plastic? “I am not sure, could you explain the benefits of both? Something in a long drawn out format,… no Cliff Notes needed.” We get rained on, but the boys love the grocery-cart/plastic car. The damn cart makes a racket and is hard to push,.. but they are so cute and get looks and laughs from many.

It is nap time for Sam,.. and hopefully jack soon. I need time to get things rolling around here. When will Lisa be home? When is grammy coming back?

I really could use a little dose of adult interaction

the basics

2005-06-10T10:32:00.000-05:00

Hello out there
OK here is the deal. I am a new stay at home dad and have millions of observations, antidotes, stories from the home front. Lets start with the basics
1. Staying at home isn't all it is cracked up to be.
2. It is hard and stressful
3. I would rather have a job,..but would miss the time with my kids

Now,.. Is there anyone out there?I will try to post between diaper changes and walks in the neighborhood.Anything you have to add would be great.

Daycare and coffee

2005-05-10T11:02:00.000-05:00

Not sure what day it is any more, it seems unimportant. What is important is that the home needs to be running like a fine tuned machine. We are running, not exactly like an Indy car yet. Two items I haven’t yet hit hard are the laundry and cleaning. Got the laundry room full and are ready to tackle that today! Cleaning, well tomorrow is another day.

Day start as usual, Lisa(wife) restless and up early, Sam(1 1/2 years old) wasn’t far behind. We all pilled in our bed, which meant not a lot of sleep for Daddy. Same morning menu, doughnuts and milk and some mindless singing and dancing from the Wiggles. After some fun romping around the house, it was time for the pre-school tune up. When the changing out of the PJs started, so did the questions from Jack(3 years old). Where we going? We going to my new school? I want to play outside! The school biz was followed by a wrestling match with Jack to get him dressed again. His current logic is as follows. 1. I won’t go to school if Daddy can’t catch me. 2. He will never make me go to school naked, once undressed, see item #1.

After the dreaded school drop off, it was off to errands. I have become more heartless at daycare. Drop the two guys in their flustered states and move on. Cold turkey is the best method for kicking heroin and getting the kids acclimated to daycare.
AHHHH sweet freedom. A Venti breakfast blend at Starbucks with the newspaper(Barry Bonds still an ass, Russell Crowe having phone problems). Sat outside and watched the comings and goings of the caffeine addicted. Who are these losers that have so much time for this in the morning,.. oh,.. nevermind.

Off to the grocery to purchase dinner items for the next 4 days. Perhaps after this is all over I could open a restaurant, I am getting pretty solid at this grocery thing. However, not many restaurants making it big on chicken nuggets, donut holes and pop tarts.
Well the laundry awaits,..